Eachother

So, to start this blog off with a bang, I'll start of with a diatribe on that most volatile of subjects: war? no. politics? no. religion? no. Paris Hilton's rap sheet? YES! I mean, no.

No, the subject I will broach today is MARRIAGE. omg. RUN!

You see, the love-of-my-life, the man I simply could never have (because I'm gay and he's straight), is getting married today. Whom to? Well, an elementary school teacher type. Enough said, I think.

But my point in bringing this up is not some mopey, tragic unrequited love story (bleh) but rather the question, what is the point of marriage?

Like all things social, marriage is a fictional institution created by human beings to serve a specific purpose, ie. binding two people, usually a man and a woman, together, until "death do they part". No social reality is a "truth". If it were, there'd be no variation between societies what-so-ever. Therefore, weddings, like everything else, is just made up. And, in its original form, it's a fairly restrictive "made-up".

Restrictive in that it usually carried harsh punishments for infidelity or barrenness for the woman, and restrictiveness on the man in case he was obliged to marry some bitter, ugly shrew of a wife. In many ways, marriage traditionally just served to foist a woman, whom through most of history was seen as less of a person and more of an house-cleaning/sex slave/baby breeding unit, onto the household of someone other than her parents. However, in today's world where women are recognized as actual human beings, marriage is no longer a contractual way of shuffling women around, but rather a choice made between two people to officially bunk up together under the protection of the law.

But, even so, what does this accomplish? Legally, there are rights and privileges to be accrued of course, such as tax incentives and hospital visiting rights. And socially, there's the simple cache of being to talk about "the ol' ball'n'chain" as something you have that other's might not have. But PERSONALLY, what does marriage accomplish?

Sex? No. No one but a nun or a Mormon would think you have to be married to have sex, now adays. Love? It would be a sad person who refused to feel love for you without the promise of a diamond ring. Commitment? Nope. Plenty of people live together for years and years, quite committed to eachother. Children? Nope. You can have as many of them as you like, without ever having to tie the knot. Heck you can buy them by the dozen from several south-east Asian countries, wet-nurse included.

And, as we all know, marriages don't tend to last long. Which begs the question, why spend all that time and money on some huge ceremony when you'll just get divorced several years later and then have to start over from the beginning? I, frankly, don't understand it.

Admittedly, being gay, I've never felt like I *have to get married, and until recently, being a Californian, I couldn't even if I wanted to. But I suppose at the root of it, huge fussy dresses and stale white cakes mounded with frosting simply fail to stimulate me. Perhaps I'm not feminine enough. I dunno.

Frankly, the old days of two young people, in love, unable to marry but desperately wanting to, ala Romeo and Juliette, is a quaint relic of a bygone age. In fact, it now takes some doing to get married. The cost - prohibitive. The loss of freedom - very scary. The complexity - overwhelming (bridezillas, case in point).

So, all in all, I'd say marriage is a strange, fetish sort of ritual, very much outdated, and seemingly both unnecessary AND unrespected. Perhaps it's time to create a new, more worthwhile ceremony. One that people actual stick with, and appreciate.

ps. I spell eachother automatically, instinctively, and purposely as one word. Because, let's face it, we need -e a c h o t h e r- more and more. We are our brother's keeper, after all.